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The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 478
Production Info Intro A New Fourmula * Dr. Colbert says never point out the diehards ** sounds like a cult * everybody is saying we're in an international crisis ** jobs are disappearing * New York Times ** shortage of sperm donors in Britain! * even sperm banks are failing ** truly world-wide problem with liquidity * calling for a sperm bailout * not asking Americans to sacrifice * introduce ** New Stephen Colbert's Formula 40U1 *** Specially formulated for class Brits * for Royal class: Stephen Colbert's Formula 40U1, Earl of Cumbria * Sells well in Narnia ** made most of it while hiding in the wardrobe *** likes the feel of a fur coat * hope it helps with their problem with their faulty towers The Election's Greatest Victim Ever * Omaha Nebraska is still counting votes there ** giving one more electoral vote ** first Dem since Johnson in 1964 *** who promised to nuke Kansas * Dems say cherry on top of sweet election ** GOP like bitter and salty * coke machine and fry station * Tonight's Word: Pity Party * rewrite history * the greatest victim was the president ** he has been oppressed * demonized by his enemies * he was demonized because he cared too much ** Wall Street Journal editorial *** The Treatment of Bush Has Been A Disgrace * criticizing Bush has been damaging to the U.S. * clockwise hula is the hula of shame * don't ask why the GOP was rejected by the voters ** who can be blamed for it? Cheating Death with Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. * Prescott, proud makers of "I Can't Believe It's Not Plasma" * Women's Health ** testosterone patch *** solved women's hormone problems, with more hormones * Prescott presents: ** GynoMorph *** turn you into a dude * Side effects: ** subcutaneous funions ** ingrown testicle ** outgrown testicle ** Testicular testicularization * Heart Health ** statins reduce cholesterol * Prescott introduces: ** VaxaCrest ** until your heart pumps nacho cheese * side effects: ** fallopian tapeworm ** Runaway gums ** mind of mencia * In other news: * Bee Gees "Stayin' Alive" ** perfect rhythm to use during CPR * Barry Gibb's falsetto voice sounds like a heart monitor after you die * Prescott introduces: * The presTune store ** download a song for every medical need * rash-Prince's Creme ** ventricular funk ** spontaneous gypsy scarf ** Stephen Tyler Lip * You only have one heart, unless you used Vaxa Cream between April and July of 2004 Interview * Bob Woodward * called the best reporter in the world, let's see how he does against the worst * two legends of journalism sitting across from each other * he is like the bubonic plague * New book: The War Within * secret history of the Bush Administration * took two years to investigate dysfunction * infighting in Bush's White House ** American people lost that battle * everything is fine because * Stephen physically cannot read Doonesbury ** his eyes don't take to it * Bush made Washington work in his own way * he claims Bush did it to himself ** delegate allows for plausible deniability * they should be given points for being secretive and deceptive * made a promise not to say anything until it's too late Epilogue * Dr. Colbert says good night after giving the camera his very best look of gravitas Gallery Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Motherload Videos External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments